When did I forget how to be social?

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Over the years, I have seen all the games played....sometimes as a player, but mostly as an observer. At first, and for years, it was just something I observed and was disgusted by....glad that I wasn't a part of it all. Gradually, I think I started to avoid having any kind of social relationships just so that I could avoid playing that game. The assumption being more and more that everyone seems to be a part of this big "game". Given that assumption, why bother ever talking to or continuing a friendship with anyone? Granted, that assumption is completely unfounded and irrational. I do realize that......but somehow, I've allowed myself to drift further and further apart from people who are close to me.

My mind is a little jumbled right now, so I'll continue with this later. Just wanted to get this down as I was feeling it.

Comments

  1. Anonymous4/25/2006 3:59 PM

    Hope you know AJ... I love ya.. I really do. I know you drift far away at times and honestly, I sometimes wish i had that ability to cut myself off from the world and occupy myself in the many ways that you do. I look at you as someone who is comfortable being with "You". Someone that does not need others to define who you are. I am not comfortable being with just me... Sometimes I drive myself crazy and I dont like myself. Lord knows I need more then just me to define me... and that sucks..
    Yes you know you drift far away from those who care for you.. just know that I will keep on your tail, calling and calling,texting and texting even though you hardly ever respond because I want you to know... You mean more to me then sometimes I ever let you know....
    Oh and My mind is always Jumbled..... and some times My minds a BLANK!!!

    ReplyDelete

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