Gay Pride....

So this weekend is Gay Pride here in our Nation’s Capital.  Big freakin’ deal!  What the hell does that mean anyway?  Am I proud of the fact that I’m Gay?  I guess I would say I’m proud that, for the most part, I don’t hide the fact that I’m gay……but to say I’m proud to be Gay?  Hmmmmm…..

To me, there is no question in my mind I was born this way.  No question at all!!  C’mon people…who in their right mind would actually choose to live a life that many people consider against God and unnatural and thusly are subjected to constant ridicule, and condemnation, and are not afforded the same legal rights as everyone else??  I have yet to meet someone who wants to volunteer to be in that role!

That being said, since being Gay was never a choice that I made, I rather liken it to being a certain nationality…Italian, German, Irish, etc.  People don’t choose their nationality either.  So you have all these people who are proud Italians or proud Germans, right?  They are proud to be a representative of their country.  And they are proud of how the people of their country have conducted themselves and contribute to society in ways that benefit all races and nationalities and all walks of life.  That’s what Pride is all about.  To be able to say you stand tall as an Italian because your people consistently show compassion not just to other Italians, but to any and every human being no matter what their heritage.  I doubt that there are many true Italians who would feel uncomfortable heading to Rome and walking the streets amongst other Italians.  Or an Irishman who feels unwelcome as he walks into an Irish Pub.  That would just be ridiculous, right?  After all, if we can’t welcome our own kind with open arms then who will?  How could we ever feel secure in a world where being surrounded by others exactly like us brings no more comfort than being around those who are not like us and who sometimes even condemn us?

I’m kinda getting off-track and confusing even myself here, but what I’m trying to say is that I think it’s rather hypocritical of the Gay Community to be celebrating Pride when we don’t even demonstrate that pride towards each other on a daily basis.  We are so much more hurtful and hateful to each other than anyone else could be towards us.  I find it much easier and more welcoming to walk into a straight bar than I ever do walking into a gay bar.  There is something wrong with that!  Is it that we all have such self-hatred for being gay that we then feel we must project it on others like us??  I don’t know.  I wouldn’t say I am full of self-hatred, but I would say I’m just as guilty as those who I’m referring to.  I’m certainly one of the first to criticize others and make jokes….do I really mean it, though?  Not usually…it’s more poking fun than anything else, but yet if the tables are turned and I’m the target of someone else’s poking fun, I end up taking it to heart and am devastated by it.

<Sigh> I’m not even sure what I’m getting at, except to say that at this moment in time, I have no Pride in the fact that I am Gay.  Not because of the mere fact that I am Gay, but because of the way the Gay Community no longer instills a sense that among others like us, we are all welcomed with open arms.  Instead, the message is more one of a warning…… to beware of shooting daggers as you approach.  That’s not at all something to be proud of.