In Search Of.......

I just kinda "stumbled across" this blog that I forgot I had once again. It happens every few years or so. I start doing some Google housekeeping and realize, "Oh yeah...I actually have a blog I started in 2005!". I guess my first thought should be, "Do people even have blogs any more"? I guess in some form or another, they're still quite prevalent. Whether it be a podcast, or a medium article, or as a guest author on some tech, lifestyle, relationship, etc.-type website.....it's all still blogging, isn't it? I think it's just that now, in 2018, the blogs are more of a "community" effort, rather than a single, personal blog. I guess that's a good thing..... ?  Who knows?! Anyway.....back to me! (Ha! this ain't no place for collaboration! It's a solo gig!). I guess that kinda sums up this update, as it were. 13 years after starting this public diary and I am solo , once again. Although I have to ask myself if thi...

Is There Anything Worth Holding On To? (words & music by the genius, Scott Alan) Lately it seems I've lost inspiration It feels like it's miles away I sleep through the day And cry through the night time I'm caught in an empty space  It takes effort to fight  I don't have the strength  I'm holding on to what's still left of me  When the life you had planned  Slowly slips through your hands  When it feels like you just slept through all  The best years of your life  When you can't find your way  When each day ends the same  When you've lost the fight inside of you  Is there anything worth holding on to?  It's hard to be strong  When weakness is stronger  I'm a prisoner in my own skin  I'm not good on my own  I need to be cared for  Someone to help these days begin  There are dreams I've let die  That I just pushed aside  I need to find out how to turn the dark back into light  Whe...

So here I am again, with the same question I inevitably return to.  What is the point....of anything?  No matter what I go through, no matter how much progress I make, no matter how many thousands of miles I move my entire life, I always end up right back to asking that same damn question.  Clearly I'm making the wrong choices in my life.  Especially with the few people I allow to be in it. My theme song in my head right now is Janet's "Truth": How did I get here? You'd think I'd know what I did Always worked real hard Maybe I missed something I'm not into pointing fingers Showin' who's right or wrong I just wanna keep it real Cause maybe I was doin' fine on my own Listen: I had a career before now didn't I I had lots of friends before now didn't I And I had my fans before now didn't I And I had my family before now didn't I Guess without you My little life was nothing But don't sweat...

09-13-2009 Michael Jackson. I have a little bit more to say than that. OK, here we go again. Michael Jackson was born in August 1958….. So was I. Michael Jackson grew up in the suburbs of the Midwest….. So did I. Michael Jackson had eight brothers and sisters….. So do I. When Michael Jackson was six, he became a superstar, and was perhaps the world’s most beloved child…… When I was six, my mother died. I think he got the shorter end of the stick. I never had a mother, but he never had a childhood. And when you never get to have something, you become obsessed by it. I spent my childhood searching for my mother figures. Sometimes I was successful, but how do you recreate your childhood when you are under the magnifying glass of the world? There is no question that Michael Jackson is one of the greatest talents the world has ever known. That when he sang a song at the ripe old age of eight he could make you feel like an experienced adult was squeezing your heart with his words. That when ...

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